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My family recently attended a large family reunion in South Florida at a Club Med all-inclusive resort. It was some experience for a frum family, to say the least! But for reasons of shalom bayis, we had to attend.

Obviously the all inclusive food was not kosher, so we had to prepare and bring our own - 6 days worth. The preparation that went into this seemed huge, but fasting for 6 days didn't seem to be such a good option. The nachas I had when my 3 kids, all under the age of 7, did not beg for the yummie-looking cookies on the buffet!

We prepared our own food, doubled wrapped everything. And we only used the resort's ovens to warm the food (in our containers). We ate everything on disposable plates/cutlery.

Although my extended family is mostly Jewish, none are Observant. I was the only person on the resort wearing a yarmulke and tzitzis (besides my boys), although it seemed as if there were hundreds of Jews there. Oh the hilarity of how many times I was approached and asked to poskin on this or that.

It seemed like every minute of each day, we were faced with one dilemna or another. It was a constant test in Tznius, as many of the women were improperly dressed. We felt we did a good job not desecrating Shabbos (can you imagine being in this environment during Parsha Yisro?), but we also felt sad that we had "missed" a Shabbos, as the environment was not condusive to kidusha.

Overall, I felt it was a great opportunity for Kiddush HaShem. It was a good example of how a Jew should always live their life, as if they are standing before the King, with a big spotlight shining on them.

One big delimna hit us on day one: would it be maris ayin to eat in the large dining hall, where the buffet was located? It was obvious, from the mounds of tin foil on our table, that we had brought our own food. So I felt it was ok. When i got back home, my rabbi confirmed I made the right decision, but I hope he wasn't just trying to make me feel ok, as I couldn't "take it back" after the fact.

And during the week, we had no less than a dozen people ask us if we would be attending the resort's Friday night Kiddush. They seemed so excited that the challah was made onsite (which of course meant it was not kosher). We felt it would be a snub if we did not attend, but we were concerned about making brachas in vain. We finally decided to attend, but when we arrived, we informed them we were so excited to be a part of the kiddush, but since we would be making our own shabbos preparations with our family, we were politely able to refuse the non-mevushal wine and unkosher challah. We kept our lips closed as they said the brachas over the bread and wine. That was a tough one, as again, we were trying to be so sensitive not to offend them, while at the same time being careful not to make brachas in vain.

I had planned to make kiddush with just my wife, kids and in-laws, who join us for Shabbos every week back home. What I was not prepared for, was 40+ family members surrounding our table, in the dining hall, joining in for Shalom Alechem. None of them are observant, but they seemed to want the "experience." Again, I wasn't comfortable making kiddush in front of so many non-Jews (not the extended family, but rather the attention we drew to ourselves to the rest of the guests). During Ashes Chayil, my wife wispered in my ear I should change my facial expression from horror to one that would not make them think i was miserable. I tried hard to smile, but I admit I was confused if I was doing the right thing or not.

The week just re-affirmed why the jew must have a level of separation from the secular world. It was nice being able to sit under a palm tree and relax - letting the "real world" melt away. But I must admit, that coming home, to my sheltered little world inside my eruv, was even better.

Sometimes for family, you have to do what you have to do, but Baruch Hashem for the world I know at home.

I made decisions in the interest of shalom bayis that I may not have normally made. The best way to maintain your observance is to not place yourself in the way of danger. It was all very difficult, but I hope I did the right thing by not politely excusing myself from the vacation and offending my non-frum family.

Do any of these experiences ring true for any of you? Would you have handled anything differently? Was the week a Kiddush Hashem, or a foolish excerice? Was it Maris Ayin to eat my food in the public dining hall, full of traife?